Classic Sitcom Crap
Community
It's the Christmas episode, and Community's shitting all over Glee.
With the glee club in the loony bin, it's up to the study group to take over the Christmas pageant. At first they don't want to, but the glee club director infects Abed with Christmas cheer, and then it's a whole 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' thing where they all fall one by one. But, Abed sees how the director's a dick at the end, and lets Britta take over his role in the pageant. She can't sing worth shit, so the director goes nuts and admits to murdering one of the previous glee clubs, then he runs away. With proof that Christmas can be evil, Abed goes to watch the Inspector Spacetime Christmas special all alone, but the gang joins him because it's better to be together.
What I Liked
-Jeff uses ASCAP to stop the glee club. At least it's good for something.
What I Hated
-Abed & Troy's songs. Baby Boomer Santa was long and boring, and the rap was just pointless.
-Annie's 'sexy' costume isn't particularly sexy. The outfit she wore at the beginning of the season premiere showed off a similar amount of skin, and it wasn't trying to be overtly sexy.
-Whatever the fuck was going on over the credits. That was some tedious shit.
Final Thoughts
This was probably the worst episode of Community this season, and not at all a good one to go out on if the show doesn't make it back on the schedule. Maybe it just wasn't working for me because I've never seen Glee, so I don't really know what they were making fun of, but the musical numbers just dragged on and on. Honestly, I don't care if people learn valuable lessons, I just want to be entertained for half an hour, and this episode did a really poor job of it.
This week's best line: "And then in 1970 he did more drugs, and his hair stayed long, and he grew a moustache." -Abed
Eleven laughs.
** out of *****
Family Guy
Cleveland visits Quahog, and in an effort to assert their masculinity, the guys take a road trip to New Orleans. On the way there they get off the main road and are pulled over and arrested by a southern sheriff. They do their 30 days, but the warden at the prison threatens to keep them locked up forever, so they escape. They hop a train to Quahog where the sheriff and his cops catch up with them, but Joe has the local cops get the drop on them, then shoots the sheriff in the leg, gives him a speech, and tells him to leave town.
Also, the wives stay home and drink a bunch of wine, but they're really not in the episode all that much.
What I Liked
-Bonnie wants Joe to vacuum up the tire treads in the carpet, but he can't because he has to roll around in order to get to them. It's a simple joke, but it's a nice joke.
-Quagmire's beads thought bubble. Yeah, we all knew what was going on with those beads. The kids didn't, but we did.
-The guys talk about McDaniel's and Burger Queen and Quagmire bitches. I really fucking hate when shows do that. Just because a name is Trademarked it doesn't mean you can't say it at all.
What I Hated
-The jury at the guys' trial was composed of Simpsons characters. They haven't been peers for at least five years.
-Instead of talking about how he learned something, Peter just does the cadences. La-zy.
Final Thoughts
This was a better episode of Family Guy than the ones they've shown recently. Perhaps that means they should bring Cleveland back to the show more often.
Nineteen laughs.
** 1/2 out of *****
Hawaii Five-O
A busload of kids is kidnapped by some drug dealers who want their product back after the Five-O team took down their smuggling ring. Except they really just wanted to burn it so the guy who got taken during the drug bust could get out of prison. One of the kids was the son of the guy who tipped off the cops, so that's why they took them.
Also, Joe White kidnaps a Yakuza boss for some reason. At the end of the episode, he shows the guy to McGarrett, then drives off and calls up a dude to tell him that McGarrett's getting too close. I'm very confused.
What I Liked
-The guy playing the governor acts as if he's reading a speech while giving a speech. I'm not sure if that was good acting or not, but I liked it.
-McGarrett says "Book 'em Danno" again. It's been too long since he's done that.
What I Hated
-Joe gets shit-canned for helping McGarrett in Korea. I have no idea how the navy found out about that.
Final Thoughts
This was actually a really mediocre episode. They've done the thing where they kidnap a bunch of kids before (albeit they were a bit older last time), and I wasn't too enthused by it that time, either.
** out of *****
The Big Bang Theory
One of Leonard's old buddies sends him a message; he's in town and wants to meet up for a drink. It turns out that he has a stupid idea and needs a tech head to help him out, and Leonard's the smartest guy he ever knew. Although he can't help, Leonard uses the opportunity to confront the bully about all the crap he did when they were younger. The bully didn't actually know he was a bully, so he gets wasted and heads over to Leonard and Sheldon's to apologize. He's too drunk to drive, so Leonard lets him crash on the couch. In the morning, he acts like an asshole, so Leonard asks him to leave, then shoves him. But he's much bigger than them, so Leonard and Sheldon must flee.
Meanwhile, Penny finds out that she was also unknowingly a bully in high school, and as an act of repentance, she donates some of her old clothes to charity. Except while she's at the donation box, she notices that some of the stuff is really nice and wants to take it. In the end, she doesn't, but Bernadette grabs some boots.
What I Liked
-The previous Pope was a Harlem Globetrotter. Fun fact!
-Sheldon shits on the Newcomb Medal, which Raj and Leonard have both won. Seriously, fuck the Newcomb Medal.
-"Leonard, I platonically love you, man." It's nice that Sheldon can admit he has feelings.
-Sheldon wants to murder the bully in his sleep. It was a good plan, and I think the guys should've gone through with it.
-Sheldon's aware of the "You just have to outrun one of your friends" rule. It's a rule to live by.
What I Hated
-The bully's a loser and not a car dealer or something like he would be in real life.
-Neither Penny, nor Leonard's bully actually knew they were bullies. Bullies know when they're bullying people. It's not rocket science.
Final Thoughts
I swear they've done an episode where the guys confront a bully at least once before. This episode made me laugh a decent amount, but it really wasn't very good.
Eighteen laughs.
** 1/2 out of *****
The Cleveland Show
Cleveland gets fatter and Donna makes him join a gym. But, even with Holt as his personal trainer, Cleveland's not into it, so he buys some men's shapewear and merely pretends to be all buff. Donna takes him to the Superintendent's Ball where his man girdle explodes and his gut pours all over the floor. Everyone laughs at him until Donna pulls off her wig and her boob enhancing things that I can't remember the name of, and shows that she's ugly, too. Then they do it on a table.
In the b-plot, Murray starts dating a gold digger, and Rallo tries to stop them from getting married. It doesn't work, but Murray quickly learns that his lady's not all she was cracked up to be, so he and Rallo drive her insane with cats until she has to be put in a home.
What I Liked
-Murray shows up for a second in Cleveland and Donna's plot, but realizes he doesn't belong there. At least they're admitting that the plots have nothing to do with each other.
-They use "Somebody's Watching Me" as background music while the guys are driving the gold digger crazy. I like that song.
What I Hated
-Cleveland's fat explodes out of his suit like he's Eddie Murphy's Nutty Professor. I didn't want to remember that movie.
-Lots of ugly sex. Even animated ugly sex isn't pretty.
Final Thoughts
I fucking hate Murray. It's great that Carl Reiner's still alive, but he's really not funny or interesting on this show.
Nine laughs.
** out of *****
This week's worst show was:
How I Met Your Mother
Robin's worried she might be pregnant, so she goes to the OB/Gyn. Not only is she not pregnant, but she can't ever have children. She's sad.
Marshall puts Christmas lights on the house with help from a neighbourhood kid... who steals his phone and strands him on the roof so he can throw a party.
I'm really not sure what was going on in terms of narration. It starts off as Robin telling a story to her kids a la Future Ted, but then it turns out they're imaginary, and the episode ends with narration by Future Ted to his kids. If the entire show's supposed to be a story his telling, then how the hell could he tell them things he doesn't know anything about?
The whole Robin pregnancy thing was just stupid from beginning to end. There must be something really wrong with the women on sitcoms. In real life, people have to work really hard not to get pregnant, but on sitcoms it turns out that it's damn near impossible to knock someone up, and half the women can't have children at all. I thought this show was above lazy bullshit like that, but I guess I was wrong.
You'd think that someone in the neighbourhood would've noticed that Marshall was trapped on the roof and that there was a huge party going on in his place. But, no.
Eight laughs.
* 1/2 out of *****
This week's best show was:
Castle
After last week, I was a little concerned that all the shows I watch were going down the crapper. This week didn't help matters much, but at least this episode was okay.
Castle and Beckett wake up handcuffed together in a dark basement with no idea how where they are or how they got there. There's a locked freezer in the room that's full of chains and bloody knives, so they know it's not a fun basement. After nearly escaping through a hatch in the ceiling before a dude slams it down on them, they kick through a wall and discover a freaking tiger.
Meanwhile, Ryan and Esposito notice they're missing and try to track them down. They arrive just in time to save Castle and Beckett from the tiger, and their backup arrests the rednecks who were smuggling tigers. Apparently it's legal to sell them in Texas, but not anywhere else in the US.
It was a little too convenient that Martha and Alexis were out of town so they wouldn't notice that Castle was missing, but everything else about that part was okay. The cops really ought to have been telling people where the hell they were going when they went out to chase leads, and I'm glad the Cap'n made that a new rule.
Castle seems like a good guy to be handcuffed to. He keeps things light, and he's willing to hack your arm off Mad Max-style if necessary.
*** out of *****
So, here are the standings after twelve weeks:
Community - 67
The Big Bang Theory - 60
Castle - 59
Fringe - 50
Hawaii Five-O - 50
House - 44
How I Met Your Mother - 39
Family Guy - 35
The Cleveland Show - 23
American Dad - 20
It's the Christmas episode, and Community's shitting all over Glee.
With the glee club in the loony bin, it's up to the study group to take over the Christmas pageant. At first they don't want to, but the glee club director infects Abed with Christmas cheer, and then it's a whole 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' thing where they all fall one by one. But, Abed sees how the director's a dick at the end, and lets Britta take over his role in the pageant. She can't sing worth shit, so the director goes nuts and admits to murdering one of the previous glee clubs, then he runs away. With proof that Christmas can be evil, Abed goes to watch the Inspector Spacetime Christmas special all alone, but the gang joins him because it's better to be together.
What I Liked
-Jeff uses ASCAP to stop the glee club. At least it's good for something.
What I Hated
-Abed & Troy's songs. Baby Boomer Santa was long and boring, and the rap was just pointless.
-Annie's 'sexy' costume isn't particularly sexy. The outfit she wore at the beginning of the season premiere showed off a similar amount of skin, and it wasn't trying to be overtly sexy.
-Whatever the fuck was going on over the credits. That was some tedious shit.
Final Thoughts
This was probably the worst episode of Community this season, and not at all a good one to go out on if the show doesn't make it back on the schedule. Maybe it just wasn't working for me because I've never seen Glee, so I don't really know what they were making fun of, but the musical numbers just dragged on and on. Honestly, I don't care if people learn valuable lessons, I just want to be entertained for half an hour, and this episode did a really poor job of it.
This week's best line: "And then in 1970 he did more drugs, and his hair stayed long, and he grew a moustache." -Abed
Eleven laughs.
** out of *****
Family Guy
Cleveland visits Quahog, and in an effort to assert their masculinity, the guys take a road trip to New Orleans. On the way there they get off the main road and are pulled over and arrested by a southern sheriff. They do their 30 days, but the warden at the prison threatens to keep them locked up forever, so they escape. They hop a train to Quahog where the sheriff and his cops catch up with them, but Joe has the local cops get the drop on them, then shoots the sheriff in the leg, gives him a speech, and tells him to leave town.
Also, the wives stay home and drink a bunch of wine, but they're really not in the episode all that much.
What I Liked
-Bonnie wants Joe to vacuum up the tire treads in the carpet, but he can't because he has to roll around in order to get to them. It's a simple joke, but it's a nice joke.
-Quagmire's beads thought bubble. Yeah, we all knew what was going on with those beads. The kids didn't, but we did.
-The guys talk about McDaniel's and Burger Queen and Quagmire bitches. I really fucking hate when shows do that. Just because a name is Trademarked it doesn't mean you can't say it at all.
What I Hated
-The jury at the guys' trial was composed of Simpsons characters. They haven't been peers for at least five years.
-Instead of talking about how he learned something, Peter just does the cadences. La-zy.
Final Thoughts
This was a better episode of Family Guy than the ones they've shown recently. Perhaps that means they should bring Cleveland back to the show more often.
Nineteen laughs.
** 1/2 out of *****
Hawaii Five-O
A busload of kids is kidnapped by some drug dealers who want their product back after the Five-O team took down their smuggling ring. Except they really just wanted to burn it so the guy who got taken during the drug bust could get out of prison. One of the kids was the son of the guy who tipped off the cops, so that's why they took them.
Also, Joe White kidnaps a Yakuza boss for some reason. At the end of the episode, he shows the guy to McGarrett, then drives off and calls up a dude to tell him that McGarrett's getting too close. I'm very confused.
What I Liked
-The guy playing the governor acts as if he's reading a speech while giving a speech. I'm not sure if that was good acting or not, but I liked it.
-McGarrett says "Book 'em Danno" again. It's been too long since he's done that.
What I Hated
-Joe gets shit-canned for helping McGarrett in Korea. I have no idea how the navy found out about that.
Final Thoughts
This was actually a really mediocre episode. They've done the thing where they kidnap a bunch of kids before (albeit they were a bit older last time), and I wasn't too enthused by it that time, either.
** out of *****
The Big Bang Theory
One of Leonard's old buddies sends him a message; he's in town and wants to meet up for a drink. It turns out that he has a stupid idea and needs a tech head to help him out, and Leonard's the smartest guy he ever knew. Although he can't help, Leonard uses the opportunity to confront the bully about all the crap he did when they were younger. The bully didn't actually know he was a bully, so he gets wasted and heads over to Leonard and Sheldon's to apologize. He's too drunk to drive, so Leonard lets him crash on the couch. In the morning, he acts like an asshole, so Leonard asks him to leave, then shoves him. But he's much bigger than them, so Leonard and Sheldon must flee.
Meanwhile, Penny finds out that she was also unknowingly a bully in high school, and as an act of repentance, she donates some of her old clothes to charity. Except while she's at the donation box, she notices that some of the stuff is really nice and wants to take it. In the end, she doesn't, but Bernadette grabs some boots.
What I Liked
-The previous Pope was a Harlem Globetrotter. Fun fact!
-Sheldon shits on the Newcomb Medal, which Raj and Leonard have both won. Seriously, fuck the Newcomb Medal.
-"Leonard, I platonically love you, man." It's nice that Sheldon can admit he has feelings.
-Sheldon wants to murder the bully in his sleep. It was a good plan, and I think the guys should've gone through with it.
-Sheldon's aware of the "You just have to outrun one of your friends" rule. It's a rule to live by.
What I Hated
-The bully's a loser and not a car dealer or something like he would be in real life.
-Neither Penny, nor Leonard's bully actually knew they were bullies. Bullies know when they're bullying people. It's not rocket science.
Final Thoughts
I swear they've done an episode where the guys confront a bully at least once before. This episode made me laugh a decent amount, but it really wasn't very good.
Eighteen laughs.
** 1/2 out of *****
The Cleveland Show
Cleveland gets fatter and Donna makes him join a gym. But, even with Holt as his personal trainer, Cleveland's not into it, so he buys some men's shapewear and merely pretends to be all buff. Donna takes him to the Superintendent's Ball where his man girdle explodes and his gut pours all over the floor. Everyone laughs at him until Donna pulls off her wig and her boob enhancing things that I can't remember the name of, and shows that she's ugly, too. Then they do it on a table.
In the b-plot, Murray starts dating a gold digger, and Rallo tries to stop them from getting married. It doesn't work, but Murray quickly learns that his lady's not all she was cracked up to be, so he and Rallo drive her insane with cats until she has to be put in a home.
What I Liked
-Murray shows up for a second in Cleveland and Donna's plot, but realizes he doesn't belong there. At least they're admitting that the plots have nothing to do with each other.
-They use "Somebody's Watching Me" as background music while the guys are driving the gold digger crazy. I like that song.
What I Hated
-Cleveland's fat explodes out of his suit like he's Eddie Murphy's Nutty Professor. I didn't want to remember that movie.
-Lots of ugly sex. Even animated ugly sex isn't pretty.
Final Thoughts
I fucking hate Murray. It's great that Carl Reiner's still alive, but he's really not funny or interesting on this show.
Nine laughs.
** out of *****
This week's worst show was:
How I Met Your Mother
Robin's worried she might be pregnant, so she goes to the OB/Gyn. Not only is she not pregnant, but she can't ever have children. She's sad.
Marshall puts Christmas lights on the house with help from a neighbourhood kid... who steals his phone and strands him on the roof so he can throw a party.
I'm really not sure what was going on in terms of narration. It starts off as Robin telling a story to her kids a la Future Ted, but then it turns out they're imaginary, and the episode ends with narration by Future Ted to his kids. If the entire show's supposed to be a story his telling, then how the hell could he tell them things he doesn't know anything about?
The whole Robin pregnancy thing was just stupid from beginning to end. There must be something really wrong with the women on sitcoms. In real life, people have to work really hard not to get pregnant, but on sitcoms it turns out that it's damn near impossible to knock someone up, and half the women can't have children at all. I thought this show was above lazy bullshit like that, but I guess I was wrong.
You'd think that someone in the neighbourhood would've noticed that Marshall was trapped on the roof and that there was a huge party going on in his place. But, no.
Eight laughs.
* 1/2 out of *****
This week's best show was:
Castle
After last week, I was a little concerned that all the shows I watch were going down the crapper. This week didn't help matters much, but at least this episode was okay.
Castle and Beckett wake up handcuffed together in a dark basement with no idea how where they are or how they got there. There's a locked freezer in the room that's full of chains and bloody knives, so they know it's not a fun basement. After nearly escaping through a hatch in the ceiling before a dude slams it down on them, they kick through a wall and discover a freaking tiger.
Meanwhile, Ryan and Esposito notice they're missing and try to track them down. They arrive just in time to save Castle and Beckett from the tiger, and their backup arrests the rednecks who were smuggling tigers. Apparently it's legal to sell them in Texas, but not anywhere else in the US.
It was a little too convenient that Martha and Alexis were out of town so they wouldn't notice that Castle was missing, but everything else about that part was okay. The cops really ought to have been telling people where the hell they were going when they went out to chase leads, and I'm glad the Cap'n made that a new rule.
Castle seems like a good guy to be handcuffed to. He keeps things light, and he's willing to hack your arm off Mad Max-style if necessary.
*** out of *****
So, here are the standings after twelve weeks:
Community - 67
The Big Bang Theory - 60
Castle - 59
Fringe - 50
Hawaii Five-O - 50
House - 44
How I Met Your Mother - 39
Family Guy - 35
The Cleveland Show - 23
American Dad - 20
Labels: 14A, reviews, television
posted by Lex Martin at 5:55 PM
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